My Hero. My Role Model. My Zaidy

Though I was only the mere age of ten when he was sadly taken from us, and my memories of him are few, I feel as though I knew him so well.

Since the day of his passing there is yet a person I’ve met that had known my grandfather, be it for years or just a five minute encounter, that hasn’t been profoundly touched. 

Yesterday marked the eleventh Yartzheit of my grandfather A"h, Rabbi Yitzchok Meir Kagan.

This blog being in his honor, I want to dedicate this post to him.

Last year in honor of his tenth Yartzheit a gathering was held in his memory. Friends and family gathered and shared their personal experiences with him.

Being able to hear these encounters and stories really touched me.

It made me so proud to be the granddaughter of such a special person.

It made me want to work on myself to become even a fraction of the person he was.

Mostly though it made me want to touch and inspire others the way he did.

The following are a few small recollections of my Zaidy Kagan.

In a world where everyone is so busy rushing- rushing to make the train, get to a meeting, make dinner- just rushing rushing rushing, no one has time anymore to ask another how they are doing. Not my Zaidy. He saw you on the street and greeted you with the warmest Shalom Aleichem, followed by a “how are you doing?” And it wasn't like he had nowhere to be; on the contrary, he was an extremely busy man who followed a strict schedule and believed very strongly in Seder. As one man recalled, there was never a single morning where you wouldn't see Rabbi Kagan, 6:30 AM walking into the Mikvah to start his day.

One man at the gathering spoke about his wedding. He recalled how my grandfather danced with him with such a Simcha, such joy, he felt it more than when danced with his own father. Watching old videos of my grandfather at weddings you can really see this pure delight radiating from him. Whether it was one of his children’s wedding, a nephew, or a friend, he really lived that Simcha to the fullest.

I was speaking to my brother after the gathering trying to reminisce whatever memories we could come up with and he reminded me of a funny story. As kids we used to go to Detroit every Pesach to visit. Once, we were in the car driving somewhere with my Zaidy when a truck drove by with an image of pigs on it. One of us kids, being the kids that we were, pointed and said, “Look- piggies!” My Zaidy looked at us and with a big smile on his face said, “No no Kinderlach, those are just shaved sheep!” That was my grandfather, educating and guiding but through such a love.

Another very profound lesson that I kept hearing from people was how he really lived "in the moment." What ever needed to be done now, he did now.

Anyone that had the honor to Daven with him Yom Kippur all said the same thing. By Neilah he was so serious. My father recalls how his heart would pound in his chest when my grandfather said Shemah; how he cried out with such sincerity and such anguish. But then the minute Yom Kippur was over and Napoleon’s march was sung he would sing with such enjoyment, such Simcha, as if this were the happiest time of his life.

What a lesson. So many times we’re doing something, we’re in a moment, but we’re not actually present. Our mind is in fifty different places thinking about what we’re doing later that day, week and month. When you are doing something, be THERE. The rest of your life isn’t running anywhere so why take away from that moment?

My purpose for writing about my grandfather is not to eulogize him and show off what kind of man he was although I do feel exceptionally privileged and honored to have had such a great figure as my grandfather. I know he would not care for all this fuss and fanfare about him. One of the things the embodied him was his remarkable humility. Rather I’m writing this as a lesson for those who could use a little positivity and encouragement in their life. 

My Zaidy was the epitome of positivity, exuding warmth and love and though I don't remember so much that's one thing that sticks by me. I don't think I ever saw him angry or mad or talk negatively about anyone or anything. My Hachlata in honor of his yartzheit is to really try and embody this Middah. No matter how hard the challenge I hope to always find the good in it.

Zaidy, I miss you terribly and wish you were here to guide me and all the others you so deeply helped on a day to day basis. It should be before your next Yartzheit that we are Zoche to the coming of Moshiach. We should celebrate together my wedding in Yerushalayim, Amen!